Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is described by the NIMH, as a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and/or behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.
I had my first bout of OCD when I was 14. I became obsessed with cleaning, I couldn’t sit down in my living room if there was something on the floor. I also had a toddler sister at that time who had so many toys scattered around the place, that having a clear, tidy room wasn’t the most practical option!
Nevertheless, I could not relax or sit in the room until I first cleared the whole room of any items that were out of their place. My older brothers thought it was so funny at the time, they’d purposely throw things on the floor when I’d walk into the room and laugh at me as they watched me pick them up, knowing I could not just ignore it.
What I know now, that I didn’t know then, is that I was having so much awareness/information in my world, that I didn’t know how to deal with, obsessing about cleaning was my way of dealing with the world at that time.
I didn’t know at that time how much I was aware of. I was aware of everything going on in my families world, they’re anxieties, fears, worry about money, about life. I was aware of everything going on with every girl in my class, I was aware of every person who hated themselves, every person who thought they were ugly, stupid, sad, bad…… you name it… I was aware of it all.
How OCD showed up for me was:
- Excessive cleaning
- Getting fixated on one thing, either a boy or a friend who just became my everything.
- Thoughts getting stuck in my head and going over and over.
- Feeling bombarded with sadness and crying excessively with no reason.
- Repetitive Judgmental thoughts.
- Having to have things in a certain order and not being able to relax until they were.
- Excessive worry about money as I got older.
Thankfully with the tools and information I now have access to, I know OCD isn’t actually a disability. It’s an ability. Once I started to see OCD as a capacity to be extremely aware and the ability to have lots of things going on at once, I could start to use it to create my life. That is OCC- Obsessive Compulsive Creator.
How I use OCC (Obsessive Compulsive Creator) as an ability:
- Have multiple projects going on at any given time.
- Keep adding more to my life.
- Engage with other creative and inspiring people.
- Listen to podcasts, calls, speakers that broadens my mind.
- Keep educating myself with the stuff that interests me the most.
- Spend time on different things throughout the day.
- If I get bored of something I’m doing, add something else.
- Challenge myself in a new way, try different movement classes, listen to all different genres of music, listen to different facilitators/teachers. Change it up regularly.
When I get fixated on something or I start to get obsessive thoughts, I ask ”What is this distracting me from?”
”Where else could I be putting my energy right now?”
What if you are not as f***ed up as you think you are and what if you were a way more creative than you may ever have recognized?
If you’d like to know more about this topic of OCD vs OCC, check out my colleague Cara Wright, X-men Facilitator & Access Consciousness® Facilitator upcoming class: https://www.caraawright.com/events-1/ocd-v-occ
Amy Shine is an Access Consciousness Facilitator® who has been using the tools of Access Consciousness to create more joy and ease for herself and her clients from around the world. Read more here: http://www.amyshine.net